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Ireland

29/09/2018

They came from near, and far, and wide,
To sail at Loch Earn, where there is no tide.
Alas, Saturday brought a heck of a hooly,
And sailing looked set to be wet and unruly,
With breweries, distilleries and windsurfs in mind,
The fleet left all thoughts of hiking behind...
But with rumours of Stew Rob calling us whimps,
We sent out some big boys to test it like chimps.
The Race officer noticed that nobody died,
And out she sent us - "NO!" Nadia cried.

Race 1 we won, and nothing else matters,
Race 2 left most of our spinnakers in tatters,
Race 3 we missed, we were chilled to the bone,
Left the rest to it and headed for home.
The day was taken my Box and McKenzie,
Being chased closely by Bob in a frenzie.
Up there was Pete Taylor and also Joy Gay,
All looking for good lifts and nailing the lay.

Three races later, they joined us ashore,
Ready for the AGM and Stewart Brewing galore!
I couldn’t stay for the meeting but from what I hear,
There are oodles of wonderful plans for next year.
It was Angus’ birthday and for the occasion,
He donned some odd head gear (without much persuasion),
With a unicorn horn and a bent Hoop of Shame,
The team drank their beers, the night was quite tame...

UNTIL, out of the darkness, before their demise,
The sweet drone of music took them all by surprise,
The hoop was a horn, the other horn hooped,
So they looked at each other and then they regrouped.
"We must go big, or we must go home"
Immy insisted, "or we'll get monochrome!"
Amanda got the Schnapps, they danced on the tables,
Singing into the night and telling old fables.

Sunday morning came around all too fast,
With a hard-fought contest to leave the beach last,
At three minutes to go, low and behold,
The fleet saw the usual sight, to be told,
Angus had made it, he'd been there all night,
He was rigged and ready to put up a fight...
Unfortunately, though, his suit would not fit,
His beer belly and uni-horn made sure of it.
So, once more, without rhyme or reason,
The yellow boat missed the last race of the season.

The breeze was a storm - white horses and gusts,
But sheer determination made racing a must!
This race was my favourite, positions were tight,
With boats falling in to the left and the right.
Colin went swimming, Marcus and Mckenzie too,
Martin's gooseneck snapped and Neil cried 'I LOVE YOU!',
It was a day for hanging on and surviving the worst
(But again, all that matters, is that we were first).

Then racing was canned, something about 'danger',
Though a fifth race would have been a game changer.
John squeezed a win, despite a quick swim,
And Bob followed up... good for him.
And Andy and Nadia! (Despite what they say,
Crews cross the line first at the end of the day.)
In third came the dream team, but coming up short,
Because that meant we had to write the report...

But who won the Hoop? Who won the Shame?
Shock horror, it might have been Angus again.
Special Mention to the galley for keeping us fed,
And to the race committee for getting us out of bed.
Shout out to JP Watersports - they give us lots,
And sorry if you think my rhyme report rots.
BIG thanks to Loch Earn for a BIG Final Fling,
We'll see you for the first of next season in Spring!

by Emily Robertson (with Neil McLellan encouragement!)

Overall Results:

 

Pos Helm Crew Sail No R1 R2 R3 R4 Pts
1 John Mackenzie Andy Box 1455 3 1 1 4 5
2 Bob Yeamans Nadia Yeamans 1 2 2 3 2 6
3 Neil McLellan Emily Robertson 1370 1 5 12 1 7
4 Jon Gay Amanda Henderson 874 4 10 2 3 9
5 Peter Taylor David Searle/Grant Abrams 1290 5 4 4 10 13
6 Jamie Rogers Neil McLaren 1073 8 3 9 10 20
7 Dave Webley Fraser Mulford 1129 6 11 10 5 21
8 Martin Booth Olly Milling‑Smith 370 7 9 6 10 22
9 Colin Davies Marcus Girby 1265 11 8 5 10 23
10 Angus Marshall Imogen Barnett 768 9 6 8 10 23
11 Phil Britton Michael Atkinson 1445 10 7 7 10 24
12 Mike Grant Alan Birse 1294 12 12 11 10 33

 

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